This weekend was an interesting set of milestones. Or in my case 1/4 mile stones. Saturday morning I woke up and stepped on the scale, like I usually do, to find that my weight was somewhere around 160. It is hard to tell since it is one of the standard scales with the dial, not a digital read out. If this is really the case then it means I have made some progress since a month ago. Structurally I have lost about 8 pounds. YAY! The working out is paying off, if only a little bit. Still, if I want to see any real change in my physique, I need to not only continue what I am doing, but up the ante.
Another positive side effect of the working out, in the roller derby bout that I had Saturday night I played in nearly half of the game, and didn't notice any tiredness, any fatigue, or any other issues. In general I was under control (mental stuff aside), and my body did well. This is in part because of the team we were playing -they are clean/safe players- but it is also in part because of my own fitness. I took a few BIG hits that sent me flying through the air spread eagle, but it was just a bounce and roll and I was back on my feet no problem.
Last nights dinner was simple and easy, and I am kind of proud of it. One of the local grocery stores has started a bulk buy section. A perfect place for me to find whole grains, beans, and other things that are silly to buy in one cup increments. There, in a new plexi-glass bin was Forbidden Rice, which is something that I used to eat when I was in California. A dark purple almost black rice that is very nutty, and said to be a super food packed with more of the good stuff per grain than any other rice. This rice has so much nutty flavor and texture, that a pad of butter is all that is needed in rounding out the taste. I cooked up a batch of forbidden rice, some simple vegetables, and had the guy do a pork tenderloin. Round it all out with a Spire Dark and Dry Hard Cider, and it was a perfect meal.
Showing posts with label roller derby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label roller derby. Show all posts
Monday, February 10, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
Wins, Wine and Wattles
It was a good match, and our girls did admirably. Not only did we win, but we stayed together, played well, and had a great time. I may be officially jealous of our opponents practice space. Being a smaller and less established team then us, it simply baffles me how they are able to support such a large overhead. But, as a good friend points out, being envious is not a suitable use of time. They will either be unable to sustain themselves at the facility, or they will and we can learn something from them. Sometimes I do not want to be the bigger person, I don't want to be the person that bites my tongue and offers only encouragement. Sometimes I want to be the petulant immature gal that feels envy and says nasty things. It seems like it would be so much easier. After the bout I went with a few friends to Seattle and spent the evening drinking wine and dancing at one of our usual hangouts. It is funny to call it our usual hangout when it is so far away, but we make a point of going once a month and just being us and doing our own thing. While it was a lot of fun, it did mean that I didn't get home till about 3:30 Saturday morning, and my body was exhausted. The boy and I did some shopping, and some minor chores.... ok... actually he did most of the work, I just napped in the glorious afternoon sunshine. That evening it was off to the neighbors for a little friendly get together, replete with more wine.
Over dinner they told us they were going to be trimming up the apple trees in the orchard. I quickly jumped in and said I would love to have the long thin sticks they would be removing. It would be perfect for the wattle fence I want to install along the bottom of the garden to keep the bunnies out. YAY!
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Friday, January 24, 2014
Frustrations and First Bout Preperations
Last night right before practice there was a nice little convergence of emotions that resulted in a little personal downward spiral. Yes, I have been working out and doing my best to stay motivated, but I have not seen any tangible improvement. So the negative-nelly side of me is saying that it is a pointless endeavor, and that no matter what I do it wont work so just give up. The positive-polly side is quiet, but the rational.... uhm ralph side of me says: "Ok, Break it down bitch!" I am not seeing improvement, so there is only one of a handful of possible explanations. (or a combination of them)
1. I am simply not doing enough and need to work harder
2. I am lying to myself about how hard I am working, and in fact am sabotaging myself
3. There is an unknown chemical/biological factor
Sound like deja-vu? No? Well it should, I talked about it a few posts ago. It isn't far from my brain, and I keep trying to think only constructively. Last night tho, the negative side was winning the internal battle, and I was just feeling down and frustrated. Add on to it noticing that a few of my peers were seeing drastic improvements. I realize that I should not compare myself to others and their progress, and also realize that people lie to themselves as much as to everyone else. For example one of them was a person who is grossly overweight (I am going to assume in the 270 range at my height) and has just recently come off of a major knee injury. She is proudly boasting that she ran a mile and a half in 15 minutes. Or the overweight binge eater that is at least athletic, but thinks Cheetos are a meal, and boasts how she lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks. I know .... I know it isn't rationale for me to even think about comparing myself to these obvious lies, but it is hard when I feel as if I am actually working for it and not seeing any result. Add in to this little convergence, the same feeling of 'no reward' across a few other aspects of my life and I just felt like throwing in the towel.
I am ever so thankful that my guy has shown nothing but support for me, he makes a point of telling me how beautiful I am, and that he sees both my struggle and my progression. I can only imagine how difficult it is for people in the same position with a person in their life that is not as supportive.
But that is all behind me, because today I am in my bout preparation mode. It is time for me to think of my motto "calm, humble, compassionate", and our team motto "strong, focused, together", and about goals. It is also where I need to step up and be a leader on the track. I hope to do that tonight, I hope to be the strong person that people need to be around, I hope to inspire people, and I hope that I live up to my own expectations.
1. I am simply not doing enough and need to work harder
2. I am lying to myself about how hard I am working, and in fact am sabotaging myself
3. There is an unknown chemical/biological factor
Sound like deja-vu? No? Well it should, I talked about it a few posts ago. It isn't far from my brain, and I keep trying to think only constructively. Last night tho, the negative side was winning the internal battle, and I was just feeling down and frustrated. Add on to it noticing that a few of my peers were seeing drastic improvements. I realize that I should not compare myself to others and their progress, and also realize that people lie to themselves as much as to everyone else. For example one of them was a person who is grossly overweight (I am going to assume in the 270 range at my height) and has just recently come off of a major knee injury. She is proudly boasting that she ran a mile and a half in 15 minutes. Or the overweight binge eater that is at least athletic, but thinks Cheetos are a meal, and boasts how she lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks. I know .... I know it isn't rationale for me to even think about comparing myself to these obvious lies, but it is hard when I feel as if I am actually working for it and not seeing any result. Add in to this little convergence, the same feeling of 'no reward' across a few other aspects of my life and I just felt like throwing in the towel.
I am ever so thankful that my guy has shown nothing but support for me, he makes a point of telling me how beautiful I am, and that he sees both my struggle and my progression. I can only imagine how difficult it is for people in the same position with a person in their life that is not as supportive.
But that is all behind me, because today I am in my bout preparation mode. It is time for me to think of my motto "calm, humble, compassionate", and our team motto "strong, focused, together", and about goals. It is also where I need to step up and be a leader on the track. I hope to do that tonight, I hope to be the strong person that people need to be around, I hope to inspire people, and I hope that I live up to my own expectations.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
First test of the season - Leadership
Tomorrow is the first bout of the season for my roller derby team. Last year we grew so much that we have been able to split the team into a rough version of 'varsity' and 'junior varsity'. Since there is not truly a full amount to field full rosters for both teams, there are a few of us that are floating between the two. While I am officially an 'A' team skater (varsity), I will be stepping in to help some of the B team bouts here and there, and this first bout of the season is actually a B team bout against our nearest neighbors. Those of us veteran skaters that will be rounding out the roster are not supposed to be superstars of the B team, we are supposed to be the support for our up and coming skaters. It's a mindset that will benefit everyone, both A and B.
The division of the teams and my personal position has caused me to think about my personal motivations and goals a little bit more keenly. Thus explaining part of the last ten posts all from this year about motivation and fitness. I am an incidental leader. Rarely am I the first to offer up myself to lead a group or take charge in a certain direction. I do not sit idly by, but I realize that there is a position for me as second in command, or slightly behind the scenes. When no one steps up tho, I willingly offer my services and try to help in a leadership position. In the past it has come relatively easily, but I recognize that it is in part because I am stepping up into a vaccum, and the bar is set moderately low.
In the last few months, I have had a 'slump' in my leadership capabilities. Part of it stems from a series of events last spring and summer that really shook my confidence and emotional stability. Dealing with a narcissist that nearly destroyed the team (or at least it felt like it at the time), followed by a devastating injury that made me question if I would be able to continue playing derby, left me shattered and sustaining the position instead of progressing it.
Tuesday night on my drive home from practice I was listening to my local NPR's TED talks Radio hour. The focus for that evening was 'Leadership'. A quote really stood out for me:
"It is so scary to think of ourselves as that powerful, it can be frightening to think that we can matter that much to other people. Because as long as we think leadership is something bigger than us, as long as we keep leadership as something beyond us, as long as we make it about changing the world, we give ourselves an excuse not to expect it everyday from ourselves and from each other. "
I am not sure why this triggered some things in my brain. It is not that I have not been aware that my leadership skills are lacking, and that I need to up my ante. I just have been living in a stasis up to this point. Still thinking, but hopefully actually acting.
The division of the teams and my personal position has caused me to think about my personal motivations and goals a little bit more keenly. Thus explaining part of the last ten posts all from this year about motivation and fitness. I am an incidental leader. Rarely am I the first to offer up myself to lead a group or take charge in a certain direction. I do not sit idly by, but I realize that there is a position for me as second in command, or slightly behind the scenes. When no one steps up tho, I willingly offer my services and try to help in a leadership position. In the past it has come relatively easily, but I recognize that it is in part because I am stepping up into a vaccum, and the bar is set moderately low.
In the last few months, I have had a 'slump' in my leadership capabilities. Part of it stems from a series of events last spring and summer that really shook my confidence and emotional stability. Dealing with a narcissist that nearly destroyed the team (or at least it felt like it at the time), followed by a devastating injury that made me question if I would be able to continue playing derby, left me shattered and sustaining the position instead of progressing it.
Tuesday night on my drive home from practice I was listening to my local NPR's TED talks Radio hour. The focus for that evening was 'Leadership'. A quote really stood out for me:
"It is so scary to think of ourselves as that powerful, it can be frightening to think that we can matter that much to other people. Because as long as we think leadership is something bigger than us, as long as we keep leadership as something beyond us, as long as we make it about changing the world, we give ourselves an excuse not to expect it everyday from ourselves and from each other. "
I am not sure why this triggered some things in my brain. It is not that I have not been aware that my leadership skills are lacking, and that I need to up my ante. I just have been living in a stasis up to this point. Still thinking, but hopefully actually acting.
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