I just recently separated from the Navy (oct 23rd) and I am finalizing all of the little nitty gritty stuff around here before I move up to Boulder Colorado. My mom said she would be willing to come down and join me for the drive, I am looking forward to this road trip across the southeast.... Might be kinda like the trip across the northern states that we did.... twice.
If you are in the Augusta area and want to get any last minute plans together please call me or email me. I expect to be leaving the area around nov 11th.
As all things must come to an end, so must things have a new beginning. I am sitting here in front of my computer contemplating all of the changes that are set to take place in the future, and I can't help but cling to memories of the past. A part of me feels as if I am just on extended leave, and tomorrow or the next day I will polish my boots, throw on my uniform and drive in to work. It's almost lonely without that part of me anymore. I know that there will always be that unspoken fraternity between myself and everyone who has ever served, however, I am no longer a 'living' part of it. There is something to be said for the grand celebrations of graduations, marriages, significant birthdays, and other life changing events. At least with that grand hooplah one gets the sense of closure and enlightment all wrapped up in one extravagant night. I am not sure whether or not a large celebration for my seperation from the Navy would be most suitable for the occasion, however there is something to be said for the general acceptance of it being the end. It's still really hard for me to accept that that was that.... there is no more. I am not so much tearful over my 'release' nor fearful of the future, as much as melancholy over memories. Although my overall experience was fun, the last 2 years have been wonderful. I have been so many places, met so many incredible people, and ended up in a job that was perfectly tailored for me. Now I am left to sitting in front of my computer beyond my usual bedtime (no stress about enough sleep for tomorrow) thinking about such mundane things as "where can i find the cheapest gas now, how am I going to put my hair up, can i just wear the same clothes for the next week and will anyone notice?". It is a truly humbling experience, and it might be some time before I realize whether or not I have come to any self affirmations or grand conclusions about life.
I hope this road trip can at least usher in the new chapter....
As it is in all of my journals, the last pages of this 'chapter' will be left blank, a deep seated desire to truly never finish something, as if the thought of remaining something incomplete means that all of those involved will keep me in their minds. As if that thought of 'finishing' also symbolizes a finalizing of our friendship.
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