As the Garden Grows

This weekend we were at my mothers for some much needed poolside BBQ time on the other side of the state.  I was a little worried that the weather would dry out the garden while we were gone, but made due with a thorough morning soak on Friday. The time away was a much needed mini vacation, as I have had a lot of negative emotions and stresses bouncing about my head.  Work has increasingly become a drain on my life, and my favorite hobby took a dive when I re injured my knee. To say the least, on Thursday I found myself a blubbering mess fully broken down and crying on the floor. Super mom was there, and was well aware of everything that had been going on in my life. She had kept reminding me to stay positive and proactive as the work world crumbled around me; my compassion and concern for my coworkers and the business having been thrown violently back in my face.  She was also there when I first injured my knee while skating, watched helplessly as I was wailed on in my first rather unprepared foray into a more complicated position.  She was there laughing with me and keeping up my spirits as I took a month off from the one physical activity I loved and did every week. (Coincidentally the activity that brought this whole homestead together) Lastly, she was there when I decided to come back to skating feeling like I had the strength and that my injury would no longer hold me back.  On the second day, near the end of warm ups, I fell, and fell hard.  A familiar pain came shooting through my body like lightning, nausea washed over me, and I couldn't stand.  I knew it, I had tore one of the ligaments in my already surgically repaired knee. 

Collapsing on the floor out of site, the fear and frustration overcame me and I fell apart.  As I sat there feeling utterly hopeless, broken, and frustrated that I had now lost the one activity I was looking forward to for relief from work (I kept blubbering something about "I just want to skate it out, I just need to skate").  Super mom sat there consoling me, and telling me that I am better than all of this.  She then said "Do you want me to call 'Power Puppy'?".  I nearly broke down laughing and crying, my first thought was a playful one "she is going to think this is a clever ploy to get her back to the track!" (as PP had moved away from the team a few months prior).

Needless to say, I found myself a few minutes later carried down the stairs to the car, and driven home by PP. The whole time I felt horrible since I knew that both Super Mom and PP had some crap going on in their lives that was just as pressing, and here I was a broken down bumbling idiot.  Yet, as we pulled up to the house, and I showed PP the garden for the first time, a new emotion started to fill me. We talked and hung out for a little bit, and after they had gone home, I signed online to find the previous post from SM. That feeling from earlier grew into an even greater overwhelming feeling.  While feeling so scared and weak, my friends and Dutch Boy had stepped up and reminded me not only to be strong, but that they could hold me up till I found my footing again.

After coming back from the weekend, I was so happy to see the growth in the garden.  The garden has now taken on -or maybe always was- a metaphor for my life. From the shit spread everywhere, new growth is happening, new possibilities and hope are sprouting up. If I can keep seeing this as the new opportunities that might be sprouting in my life (even if I can't see them at first) then maybe I can keep my head up. Perhaps the world will be clearer when the whole 'homestead' group is over for dinner on the deck after harvesting our food from the garden.  That is really what ALL of this is about, life, work, play, it all comes back to being happy and developing the relationships that help engage and enlighten our lives.